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beanpop


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oo1. I went to the doctor today about my postpartum depression. They gave me an antidepressant (Celexa) and an anti-anxiety med (Xanax). I started taking them both today and I can tell that the Xanax definitely helped my anger and anxiety with Maddy. I had been getting too irrationally angry with her when she would cry and cry but today it was like I just did what I had to do (take a shit, sorry TMI) and then I picked her up, put her in the Moby and started warming a small bottle of left over breastmilk from yesterday that I needed to use up today. I also didn't get upset with her when it took me three times to put her down for a nap this afternoon. The depression and underlying issues are obviously still there (and will continue to be there until I can get started with therapy) but at least in the short term I am doing better for right now.

oo2. I even got some stuff done today. Well, besides packing Maddy up and going to the doctor at 10:30am. I went and got a coffee at Dutch Bros. Then I went to Rosauers to get my prescriptions and walked around with her in her stroller. By that time she was starting to get pretty fussy so we packed it back home and I finally got her down for a nap at 2:20pm. It's now 5:25pm and she's STILL ASLEEP!!!! All by herself in the pack n play. I'm so proud of her.

oo3. I can't believe she's 1 month old already. Here are a few pictures from the last few days (taken with my phone so excuse the quality) Sorry, not going under a cut :P

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What she looks like right now in her pack n play :)

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Hanging out at the OB office with me this morning.

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Finally calm after her rough day getting pictures done on Saturday.

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Happy with her paci

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Daddy snuggles :)

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Getting some boobie!

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1 month old :)


oo4. I'm sad that I have to start back to work in two weeks. At least it's only part time and from home so I can still see her during the day. I just really hope I am able to let Joe take care of her and not try to be too controlling over how he does it. Gaaah.

oo5. My Spencer arrives on Friday! I can't wait to see him and for him to meet Maddy!! :D

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I'm glad you're feeling better for now *hugs*

She's adorable ♥

You know, I'm starting to think that Tim and I need to come up there, too. It might be a little while, with all the wedding stuff going on, but I'm pretty sure that we could make it happen. :D

She's gorgeous.

I'm glad you mentioned getting angry with her when she cries.

When my youngest was an infant, I used to be the same way. (I was 18. TOTALLY inexperienced. NEVER been around kids.) To this day, I feel guilty for those feelings. I never once connected them with postpartum depression, and I didn't mention those feelings to anyone because I felt like it made me a bad mother. Thank you for alleviating some of that guilt 10 years later. ♥

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